Cheyenne DWI Lawyer

Demons Not Included: A Night Tracker Novel

Description

Reviews

Rating: 1 / 5
Date: 2010-05-06
Summary: "Spend Some $ on An Editor and a Proofreader!!"

Besides the cookie cutter plot outline, the poor writing really hinders one's enjoyment.

This is just one example of the horrendous grammar in this book:

Some of the other Trackers didn't like that I was the only Tracker who could enter Rodan's "inner sanctum." It had been explained that I was also a PI who had to report to him repeatedly. I knew that it was because he was not only my mentor, but a friend, and until recently one of his many lovers.

I think she meant to say:

I knew that it was because he was not only my mentor, but a friend. Also, I had been one of his many lovers until recently.

Next, I picked up Forbidden by the same author. Same problem. Cookie cutter plot, and such poor grammar that it was hard to follow.

This is the third book by this author that I have been unable to finish because it is boring and poorly written. I bought the first 2, and vowed to buy no more. However, I saw Forbidden at the local library, so I thought I would see if it was better. Nope!

Really, as a best-selling author, couldn't she spend some of her money on a proofreader and an editor?

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Rating: 4 / 5
Date: 2010-01-30
Summary: "Demons Not Included"

Demons Not Included is pretty much like most of the urban fantasy out there. Paranormal tough chick working at an investigating firm. She is of course strong, hot, and attracts men. There are some bad guys causing trouble and it's up to the main character and her team to save the day. I enjoy the urban fantasy genre, and most urban fantasy books are good, but this one has a few things added that takes it up a notch. First, I couldn't put it down. There is no stagnation or boring sections in Demons Not Included. The reader is wondering who the bad guy is, who the traitor is, what the symbols on the floors mean, will the main character come clean with her love interest, and so on. Second, I like the main character. Nyx is strong yet vulnerable. She can get hurt and she has relationship problems, but she is willing to take the blame when things go wrong. I also like that this is a self contained story in which everything is solved, because I do think that while I enjoyed this book, I don't think I'd love the series. The characters are interesting enough for one story, but so much has been resolved that the next story seems like it would be boring. Overall, Demons Not Included is an exciting story about a half drow versus a demon horde. It's a nice quick read with a likable heroine and is full of enough action to keep readers interested. I'm glad a read it, and I think it's definitely worth giving a shot.

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Rating: 3 / 5
Date: 2009-12-15
Summary: "Secondary characters preferable to primary ones"

Half-human, half-Drow Nyx Ciar may be Princess of the Dark Elves, but she's currently living in New York as a paranormal private investigator by day and Tracker of demons by night. When fellow Trackers are killed, Nyx soon discovers that a Demon Apocalypse is nigh.

Cheyenne McCray has done such a good job with the secondary characters that I like them more than the primary ones. Nadia's past in the Bermuda Triangle sounds exotic and intriguing, and Olivia DeSantos is undoubtedly awesome. Unlike Nyx, Olivia is all-human, and thus her fighting skills and whatnot are even more impressive because she doesn't have magical genes and powers. But she has personality plus, and is great fun. However, the author overdoes it by having Olivia wear T-shirts bearing witticisms. The character is so vibrant that the hokey slogans aren't needed, and thus make them seem lame.

Unfortunately, Olivia is not the main character here, and thus plays second fiddle to the annoying Nyx. At first the Princess's voice is kind of fun, and she's honest enough to admit that she's spoiled. The problem, however, is that she doesn't try to change that. Excluding the fighting scenes, nary a page goes by without a brand name appearing. Everything from clothes, coffee, chips and cat food. And her XPhone, let's not forget. She doesn't just pick up her phone; Nyx picks up her XPHONE, specified all the freaking time. Yes, the phone has more capabilities than just calling and texting, but the persistent and ever-present brand names just make her seem incredibly shallow.

Mind you, everyone consistently telling her how beautiful she is doesn't exactly make Nyx get over herself. Beautiful in human form, beautiful in Drow form, and her skin isn't purple - it's AMETHYST.

And being Drow doesn't mean just being Drow, because apparently that's not enough. Nyx has several kinds of elemental power. The key to creating likeable characters is to make them more realistic, and if she'd only had power with ONE element, that would've been fine.

If the Night Tracker series has a different heroine for every book, this could actually be quite good - the world-building and plot certainly are page-turning - but if Nyx continues to narrate each novel, I don't know if I could summon up the enthusiasm to stick with the Night Trackers.

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Rating: 2 / 5
Date: 2009-10-08
Summary: "poorly written."

Okay, the book started off painfully. I had to force myself to keep reading. Partially because I was curious. The thing that really stuck in my craw was the whole drow thing. If your going to change the rules on drow do it good.

1. They are a matriarchal society.
2. Half drow don't change.


If she'd stuck mostly to how drow society was and changed one or two things it would have been a lot better off. But she changed to many things. Also I get it, she's rich and likes designers.

Poorly written.

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Rating: 5 / 5
Date: 2009-09-12
Summary: "Action-packed read"

I have to say, that I disagree with most of the posters here. I found this book to be written well (although I do think possibly the editing [typos, name mix-ups] could have used some help). It started off at a really good pace and stayed there most of the time. However, it was nice to have it slow down once and a while and either give us a peak into the heroine's past or add information to the overall setting of the book. and for me at least, tried to flesh out the other background/surrounding characters, so you could understand, why she felt the way she did. Yes, I do agree that it did have a lot of information as it is the beginning of a new character series for this writer. But the ending left me looking forward to the next installment. Also, since this was the first book that I had read by McCray, it peaked my curiousity about her other books. I think if you like a combination of romance, mystery and action, you'll like this book. However, if you don't like your genres to mix, then yes you'll be disappointed. If you need your stories to be wrapped in a nice neat package at the end, again, this book might not be for you. Also, we all shouldn't take ourselves so seriously - these type of novels are what they are, fantasy and a nice escape from the real world once in a while. Sit back and enjoy the story for what it is.